iyaaaaaaaahh. what's going on around here? i have no idea. i don't know what to dooooo with myself. it's absolute shite. could i move to america now please? to georgia? or maybe louisianna? or wisconisn? i don't mind really. i'd just like to move thereee. kthnxbye.
i've been in france for two weeks, and now i'm home again and it's poo. i don't know what to do with myself. i kinda just want to go back to school, but not for the lessons. aaaaaahh. i haven't seen anyone for so so long and i haven't heard from half of the people i want to speak to. where are you? i want to talk to you ):
is it just me, or when you find someone you like is there always always always something that gets in the way? it's never just oh, i like you, you like me lets get together. it's ridiculous.
i feel like i'm going downhill, and i shouldn't be. one little bad thing happens and it feels like everything else is going badly. i haven't seen half my friends for at least a week. i can't be bothered to though, that's really bad, isn't it? gahhh. i know there are millions of people in the worldthat have it far,far worse than me. so really i should shutup and stop complaining. i've come to the conclusion that the people that i'm most close to are my parents. maybe it's just cos i see them so often? i also think i'm a bit of a loner. like, serisouly. whenever i think of doing stuff i imagaine me by myself, not with anyone else. oh well. i had a really nice dream the other night, it was wonderful. i really felt genuienly loved. but then i woke up and realised it was just a dream. yay. never mind, i'm going to france on sunday for two weeks. i can't decide whether to have no contact whatsoever with the outside world or not. like, i can get an internet connection if i really want. but i don't think i do want to. just saying what i'm thinking! have a nice day (:
thankyou very much. nice one. thanks for giving me all those signals. thanks for making me believe you wanted something more. thanks for leading me to think that you were 'different' to most people. thanks for making me just another of the flings you've had. did i want something short? no, i fucking well didn't want something short. all those times, those conversations, texts for nothing. yet, i still think something is going to happen. i can't not think of it happening that way because i've thought of it happening like that for so long. how do you not see we're so similar? so very, very similar. so, now we're just best friends, huh? great. absofuckinglutely great. you do realise i'm always going to have a thing for you? even if we are just best friends. so, next year when we're going to be spening alot more time together i'm still going to like you. i won't say anything because i'm not like that. i hold back my feelings, i don't tell anyone. it's just the way i am. so, no you won't ever know. thanks for playing with my heart. yes, i realise it's not the end of the world and there's plenty more fish in the sea and i've got the whole of the rest of my summer to enjoy. but, to be honest, you would have made it just that little bit better. i miss you.